Umbrey Part II

Umbrey pt. II

The problem with Umbrey was that he wasn’t just squalid on the outside. No, if anything he was MORE squalid on the inside. He lived in a dark squalor of the heart*. He had no redeeming qualities at all. Not one. Even his mother said to his face that she couldn’t stand him. And he didn’t care. That was the depth of his squalorishness. Also he liked to gamble more than he should.

Umbrey liked to play the ponies. He went to a bookie over in Brooklyn named Emilio Frappe (who was mostly considered to be an okay guy except for the time he sent the kneebreakers to his mother’s because she hadn’t paid her Keno debt; but he paid her hospital bill so everyone called it even). Emilio tolerated Umbrey because he always paid his debts on time and because he was a consistent loser. Umbrey generated enough income for Emilio so that he could get his daughters piano lessons and send his favorite enforcer to Hawaii as a birthday present. And this is where things start to go really bad for Umbrey, because one day he decided to make a bet.

A big one.

*By the way, if you’re thinking that this is going to be some kind of story of redemption along the lines of Scrooge or the Grinch, don’t get your hopes up. Not saying it won’t happen, but it seems highly unlikely given Umbrey’s personality and the fact that he makes consistently poor choices. Just saying.


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